ohmyh.com

“Well, your guy’s service sucks, so thank you very much.” (Then the service rep hung up.) -Corey O.

“He Doesn’t speak very well English” -Amber (inside sales)

“I can’t come to work today because I can’t find my pants!” -Ashley (inside sales)

“If you guys get your monthly goal, I will let you guys pepper spray me in the face.” -Frank to Team

“Blame it on Whitney” -Kathy O.

“That dirt you’re drinkin’ is giving you diarrhea” -Alex M. to Jon San.

“Thats a hunka antler” -Chunter

“We’re specking…we got speckles everywhere.”  Fbaker

“Your body will smell good, but you will look dirty as hell.” Alex M, about a mystery gift from India

“I don’t want to touch Bart’s stuff”  Alex M.

“I am not a dirty man” Alex M.

“That is a beautiful point”  Alex M. to a client

you can find that in the “article repository” Alex M.

“I love working with women man” Matt C.

“Loves been hot and cold with us” Matt C. talking about a client

“Nothings happening in Spanish Fork” RKnapp

“Matt, you’re a frustrated professional” Corey O.

“love takes time” Bawb about girls and life.

“Her mom lives in Montana…which is perfect…..at least shes in Helena”  Dan A. about his mother-in-law.

“I’ve just got my head down doing all the work”  Dan A.

Talking about sausage, Jlynch said “you don’t want it too odoriferous” you want “tame herbal sausage”

“If I were a program, I would just do my job”  Sam C.

“I’m scared of Bob and his toys.” – Amy B.

“Screw you Jeff!” – Amy B.

“Have you ever heard of banners before?” – Misc LL sales person

“FAST…who’s that?” – Kerri

“I’m gonna go ahead and transfer you to C. Stevens.” – LogoLinker

“The computer ate my floppy!” – Jessica. O.

“There weren’t really any Mexicans in the 80’s.” – Alex G.

“I’m just this ignorant Anglo-Saxon over here…” – Regan F.

“You give them citizenship…they give you love.” – Regan F.

“Bob’s drawing stick porn again!” – Matt B.

“Jed says if you like something you should make a lot of noise.” – Nyla S.

“So what’s going on today Cort?  Are you feeling the fire under your booty?” – Regan F.

“Don’t toot.  If you’re gonna toot, go in the bathroom.” – Regan F.

“Watch us get fatter and uglier.” – Regan F.

“Don’t you realize that I’m stupid right now?” – Heather B.

“I like soggy things.” – Regan F.

“…is that what you call it these days Bob?” – M. Smithhart

“You know when you’ve been really hot all night and you don’t even want to put clothes on?”   - Jessica O.

“Porn gets old…scriptures you can read again and again.” – Matt B.

“It’s nice to get out of the Provo ‘no-place-to-make-out’ apartments.” – Regan F.

“Wow, you do have 2 legs.  Why is one smaller than the other?” – Mike B.

“Alex has my pole and tackle box and everything…” – Jessica O.

“Bob, you’re so full of warm fuzzies!” – Adrienne

“I want to get married just for the honeymoon, but then I’d have to be married after the honeymoon and that would suck.” – Jessica O.

“…but we’ve got air bags and anti-lock brakes so at least our heads will look good in our coffins.” – York B.

“We can’t just stick shit on the servers…” – York

“The more bed the better.” – Regan F.

“Hey!  This is ok, I’m dangerous.” – Regan F.

“Cry me a freakin’ river, la-de-da.” – Jessica O.

“Why is Jay on weight-watchers?  I thought he was skinny.” – C. Davis

“So do you wanna play Cowboys and Indians?” – Regan F.

“Hey Gary, do you know what you just signed?” – J. Hartshorn

“Did you (Erich) just come out of the girl’s bathroom?” – Adrienne

That’s cool…I wish I could be in love with someone.” – Ryan P.

“I love fresh buns.” – Clancy

“Who handles the freaking computers around here?” – Christian

“You guys and your Ding Dongs.” – Kaisa

“Does anyone know where you can get adult costumes?” – Tasmin

“You know what I really wanted to be for Halloween, I wanted to be Eminem.” – Regan F.

“Who’s the keeper of the balls, so to speak?” – R. Carter

“I swear I saw a weasel and I chased it under a car.” – Regan F.

“I heard that CHiP’s is about 2 gay police officers.” – Regan F.

“My armpits are cold.” -Jessica O.

“I haven’t known him for that long…” -Charlott re: her fiancée

“Bob…when are you going to realize that you’re not the man?” -Cathryn

“Amy and I were like lovers on the phone.”  - Franc Ferk

“I need a piece of Gary before anybody else gets him.”  - Tim

“That which doesn’t kill you makes you hate life even more.”  - Mike (friend of Jason, BF of Amy)

“When I was eradicating the world of communism…” – Craig S.

“Hey Sagers, wanna buy a breast pump?” – Tommy F.

“So, Mike’s trying to tell your mom that ‘dell’ and ‘ham’ aren’t swear words in Canada”

– C. Green

“I’ve had a lot of boys by the…uh…” – C. Green as A. Gueck

“Again, I apologize for my brief yet destructive lapse of responsibility and intelligence.”

-Mrs. C. Green

“I’m not used to being naked.” – C. Green

“I’m not gonna ask for any hands, but I might ask for a shirt.” – C. Green

“The more women, the more entertainment.” – C. Green

“You’ve never been much of a religious man have you Mike?” – C. Green

“Magnify your calling?…PLBTHHH” – C. Green

“Because you dirty girls are always grabbing the wrong flag down there.” – C. Green

“Read my lips…” – Email from C. Green’s client

“Just ask Gary to pee, and you’ll get all the Red Bull you want.” – C. Green

“Cool, I found a site that sells ecstasy.” – C. Green

“I’m smelling Kaisa!” – Bawb

“Girls always look different when they take their clothes off.” – Bawb

“Someday, I’m going to try those nude net pants.” – Bawb

“I’ve got underwear in here; you can smell that if you want.” – Bawb

“Sometimes you don’t want to look smart, you want to look cool.” – Bawb B.

“Here’s my face…see how fat I am?” – Bawb B.

“I’m just a casual back-door bar-b-quer.” – Bawb B.

“So I’m sittin’ there last night playing Risk with this girl…” – Bawb

“How do you do it Bawb?” – P. Hall

“Well, come sleep over some time and you’ll see.” – Bawb

“Amy, I hope you don’t treat your husband like you treat that orange.” – Bawb

“You cut your thing off…” – Bawb

“There’s nothing like a fleshy butt pressing against a window.” – Bawb

“Hi Amy…did you get here before or after I ripped one?” – Bawb

“Employee handbooks are for losers. Are you saying you’re a loser?” – Bawb

“I could break your leg right now.” – Bawb

“You need some French love, man.” – Bawb

“Brittany used to deliver a lot of love around here.” – Bawb

“Just because we screwed them doesn’t mean we have to unscrew them.” – Bawb B.

“I need some secs…oh, I mean seconds.” – Bawb

“…I’ll just develop it and promote it myself.” – Bawb

“Here, bend over Gene…” -Bawb

“Don’t touch your butt to mine.” -Bawb to Foo

“I’ve been getting all kinds of good action at home!” - Bawb

“…I like looking at porn too.” -Bawb Barnes

“I choose every battle.” -Bawb

“Yep…I’m a gross, sick jerk…” – Bawb

“I like big breasts…chicken breasts.” – Bawb

“Don’t be too willing to help people.” – Bawb

“So…like, he tried to hit on me while I was sleeping…” – A. Gueck

“No, I don’t want other peoples crust, I just want my own.” – A. Gueck

I’m sure Blow gets more play than you” – A. Gueck

“So Bob…Are there any sparks flying? I mean on your date?” – A. Gueck

“Gene, I’ve got some tanning lotion.” – A. Gueck

“There’s no way you can swing and be sad.” – A. Gueck

“Sometimes I just needed to be spanked.” – A. Gueck

“I didn’t say I wanted to date him, I ‘m just developing relations with him.” – A. Gueck

“I want some dirtiness!” – A. Gueck

“Massage therapy…legal fornication.” – A. Gueck

“I hate sitting and farting around.” – A. Gueck

“Hey, take that shirt off!” – A. Gueck

“It’s not like I didn’t like him, but I wasn’t like trying to impress him, so I was just being myself.” - A. Gueck

“Who’s up for some more nasty?” – A. Gueck

“I was induced twice, but it still didn’t work.” – A. Gueck

“All of my siblings were born two-headed but me.” – A. Gueck

“Derek! You’ve got hairy feet.” – A. Gueck

“If they make me breakfast in the morning, we’re dating.” – A. Gueck

“Does copier paper work for the printer?” – A. Gueck

“He’s a bastard.” – A. Gueck

“Good thing I don’t shy away from rich things…chocolate or men.” - A. Gueck

“I’ve kissed Shalain, Brandon, and who knows how many I’ve kissed.” – A. Gueck

“I think I kinda want a guy cuz they’re stronger.” – A. Gueck

“TV’s are so weird.” – Amy Gueck

“Farting’s natural, guys.” -A. Gueck

“Brittany’s looking at dolphin porn.” -A. Gueck

“Actually, Steve was my favorite tool this weekend…” -A. Gueck

“It’s cheese-flavored poo.” -A. Gueck

“If she wasn’t married, she’d be hot!” - A. Gueck

“I love words like poo.” - A. Gueck

“I have strong glands.” -A. Gueck.

“All these years, I didn’t realize I had a bank account in my uterus.” -A. Gueck

“Remember?…I’m nice now…” – A. Gueck.

“Pull it out Bob!” – A. Gueck.

“Why steal when you can have it openly out in the open” – A. Gueck.

“I’m going to go look at Phil’s girlfriend…oh gross!” – A. Gueck.

“Gene, I’ve got some tanning lotion.” – A. Gueck to G. Beal

“Gene, I’ve got some tanning lotion.” – A. Gueck to G. Beal

“So you’re calling me a hooker then?” – G. Beal

“I’m almost a quarter of a decade old.” – G. Beal

“You are comparing the New Kids on the Block with Def Leppard? Do you want your ass kicked?” – G. Beal

“Pocahontas is awesome dude!” – G. Beal

“Where’d the fridge go?” – G. Beal

“I’m gonna take your clothes off.” -Phoop to G. Beal

“My life has gone to hell since you left…” – G. Beal to Phoop

“They make me happy.” – G. Beal

Oh how we love weekly management meeting! While JT was beginning his report on the “bug-fixes” that had been completed for the week, Tbird leaned over and asked FBaker “did he just say butt fixes?….don’t tell GW!”